Through Stained Glass: Advent Word of the Day-Don't Be Afraid

Day 13:  Don’t be Afraid

Elijah said to the widow, “Don’t be afraid…” [1 Kings 17.13]

Tomorrow is Gaudete Sunday.

Advent, like Lent, is a penitential season, so the vestments pastors wear and the paraments donning the sanctuary are often purple. But on Gaudete Sunday, having passed the midpoint of Advent, the Church lightens the mood a little, and the priest may wear rose vestments. The change in color provides us with encouragement to continue our preparation for the Christ child.

Tomorrow we will light the pink candle and we will rejoice while celebrating the joy of God’s love.

But tonight, my heart is not full of joy.

It is sad.

One of the first folks I visited as a ‘real pastor’ recently completed her baptism and I just learned about it. 

I remember the first time I met this woman. It was last year when our church went caroling at her nursing home. When we arrived she smiled the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and her eyes were full of joy. As we caroled she clapped her hands and hummed along.

She was so appreciative of our presence. She was so grateful for our songs.

However, the last time I saw her the joy in her eyes was gone. Her sadness was palpable. The smile hidden behind a loneliness no one should ever experience. She, like all people, is deserving of love.

Despite the difficult season she was in, we worshipped together. She held my hand as we said the Lord’s Prayer before we celebrated communion. She took a small piece of the communion bread consecrated at worship hours before. Her thin hand shook as she raised the shot glass of Welch’s to her lips. I steadied it for her as she consumed the blood of Christ. She smacked her lips together, and once more and then I hugged her and told her I’d be back.

That was the last time I was with her.

For many in my congregation she was but a name in the bulletin, someone we should probably pray for. For me, she was a person who affirmed my call and gave me hope. Though I doubt she knew it.

On this the eve before the Sunday when we will rejoice, I can’t shake the solemn feeling of my friend's absence. Her lonely look lingers in my mind. But about the time I get weepy I think about last year and when we met for the first time and I can fight back the tears with a smile as I think about her smile.

Her joy.

Tonight as I sit with joy and sadness, I’m grateful for the wisdom of Henri Nouwen who reminds us that joy isn’t happiness. While happiness is dependent on external conditions, Nouwen writes that joy is something deeper. It is "the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing -- sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death -- can take that love away." Indeed, do not fear a thing.

When I light the Joy candle tomorrow, I’ll do so with a smile knowing how loved I was by this friend and trusting she knew just how loved she was.

May we all know there is nothing to fear. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made. God loves us more than we’ll ever know. Our struggles, our pursuits of justice will not go unnoticed. God is with us.

Rejoice, dear friend, for your waiting was not done in vain.