Showing posts with label Solitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Solitude. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Through Stained Glass: Advent Word of the Day-Black and Beautiful

Day 16:  black and beautiful

I am black and beautiful…[Song of Songs 1.5]

Today’s words, well, they are difficult.

They are black and beautiful.

I am white.

To deny the existence of racism in the world is a troubling lie.

Race matters. No matter how hard we try to say it doesn’t, it does.

I do not know how to talk about it all, but I know I need to talk about it.

It being, racism.

A little over a year ago I moved to Lincoln. I was welcomed and continue to be loved by the greatest of people. When I came to my study the first day at the church, there was a sign that said “Welcome Adam! We Are Glad You Are Here!”

Two days ago I read a story by a black preacher and his first week in a small Midwestern town.

On his church door, there was a sign.

It was a welcome sign of sorts.

Instead of a loving reception to the community like the one I received, he arrived to his church doors with the words

“N***** get Out!”

In my studies and in my reading of scripture, I’ve come to realize that color-blindness is not an option. One of the first songs I learned in Sunday school was how God loved all children, no matter their color.

If God created with our own particularities and unique characteristics, then we need to celebrate them and not avoid engaging them because of the vulnerability it takes to do so.

Advent is about the hope for God coming into reality—a reality where all are welcomed and invited into the KIN-dom of God. 

So friends, may we recognize and value our differences; may we teach and learn about that which may make us uncomfortable; and may we take steps learning about each other’s stories by sharing in worship, sharing in meals, and sharing in life together.

May you find comfort in this poem and in the wisdom from the late, great Maya Angelou.



Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Through Stained Glass: A Mid-Week Reflection-The Tale of a Totally Unsuspecting Traveler

(This is the third of four reflections from a group of us, based on our recent visit to the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, Kentucky over the weekend. Over the course of the next few weeks, others will share their insights and revelations, poems and epiphanies emergent from this adventure.)

The Tale of a Totally Unsuspecting Traveler

 This week’s guest reflection is by First Presbyterian member, Pat Baker. Pat is a writer and poet at heart, a retired schoolteacher by trade, and a lover of literature. She is the wife to Joe and the mother to Amanda. A proud southern Illinois girl, Pat calls Lincoln home and cheers for the Cubs when she isn’t reading William Maxwell.

I asked myself, not for the first time, “exactly,how and why did I wind up involved in a retreat to The Abbey of Gethsemani?”

In the letter written by the PNC, introducing Adam and Teresa, I was pleased at Adam’s mention of two authors, Wendell Berry, a favorite of a cousin of mine who was a Catholic priest, and Thomas Merton, a vaguely familiar name due to Bruce’s many references to him, 2 pastors, 2 interims, and 30 odd years ago. Soon after his arrival, Adam and I came to discuss books and writing styles frequently. He eagerly shared a few of his vast (he’s 29?) book collection. I enjoyed Rob Bell’s Drops Like Stars and bought my own copy, but the first Merton book I attempted to read left me more than a little confused and uncertain. I saw disappointment in Adam’s eyes when I returned it saying, “I’m not sure I ‘get’ his ideas on contemplation.”

Thankfully, Adam didn’t give up there, and neither did I. Slowly, with help from Adam’s sermons and books by Barbara Brown Taylor, Anne Lamott, and others, Merton’s words began to open my eyes to a new way of exploring and expanding my faith.  I began to envy Merton’s unmatched ability to describe deepening his relationship with God. And I became very curious about the place Merton chose to live for over 27 years and where he is buried, and why this area in central Kentucky became so special to a man who had lived in and traveled to many other countries.

In preparation for this mental and physical journey, I made a list of terms I saw as central to the trip:

·      silence—The condition or quality of being or keeping still and silent. 2. The absence of sound; stillness. 3. A period of time without speech or noise.

·      Contemplation—Deep reflective thought. 2. concentration on spiritual things as form of private devotion.

·      Retreat—The act of giving up and withdrawing or a time away in a quiet and secluded place where you can relax.

I then explored many websites seeking further information on the Abbey. Its history is remarkable and impressive. Amid 2,200 acres in the hills of Nelson County, Kentucky, the 166-year-old Abbey of Gethsemani is known for its peace and tranquility. It is a part of the Order of Cistercians of the Strict Observance, better known as the Trappists. Founded on December 21, 1848 and raised to an abbey in 1851, Gethsemani is considered to the motherhouse of all Trappist and Trappistine monasteries in the United States and is the oldest monastery in the United States that is still operating. Currently 42 Monks are in residence there.
The night before the trip, I felt well prepared.  Our group planned on having blocks of time for our own use. Reading was a priority for me.  I also wanted to keep a written record of what I saw and experienced. I added a few tasty provisions to stave off starvation.
My former “teacher bag” was adequately filled with appropriate items for the weekend ahead:
1). 2 books, Acts of Faith ( Book Nook selection, about half read), An Invitation to the Contemplative Life, by Thomas Merton, appropriate because he and his writings were the focal point for the trip,
2). an issue of Martha Stewart’s magazine, Living in case I had done enough serious contemplation for the day.
3). a travel journal
4). 3 pens and 2 pencils
5). my Daily Prayer Book, on which I’ve come to depend
6). snacks, for a different kind of sustenance

Sufficiently equipped to make the most of every moment of the trip, boredom would not be an issue. I had plenty of worthy reading material, and my journal contained many blank pages that waited for my weighty words.

The drive was filled with enjoyable conversation which allowed all of the travelers to get to know each other better. Periodically, Adam, appropriately sympathetic, provided a near photographic description of the many animals which met their untimely deaths along the road.

It was dark when we drove by the Abbey and arrived at the Bethany Spring Retreat House. Our curiosity would have to wait until morning. We were greeted by the owner and shown to the various bedrooms. After getting settled and exploring the large old farm house, we began to gather in the living room for an enjoyable and wide ranging conversation. Plans for the next day were determined by the Abbey’s schedule of prayer services, the liturgy of the hours:
3:15 am – Vigils; 5:45 am - Lauds; 7:30 am –; 12:15 pm – Sext; 2:15 pm – None; 5:30 pm – Vespers; 7:30 pm – Compline. 7:30 am seemed like a reasonable starting point for the next morning.

Night 1 – no reading, no writing.

We woke to an overcast and foggy day, and soon traveled about a mile down a narrow, winding, black topped lane. Our first glimpse captured the Abbey and its surrounding hills shrouded in wisps of fog and mist. It was captivating in a truly timeless way. The stark white of the Abbey walls sat in simple contrast to the muted colors of the trees and harvest ready fields of corn. The sacredness was perceptible even before the stillness and tranquility made themselves known.

Gethsemani was a very special place indeed.

There were signs that guided our way and requested silence as we entered the walkway.

When we entered the Abbey, the lighting was fittingly dim, the reverence almost tangible as we joined approximately 20 other worshipers. Soon doors began to open as men in long white robes with black scapula entered quickly, quietly, and with familiarity. Two or three yawned. The chanting began, and there were points in the liturgy for responses, but I was satisfied to simply take it all in. After 15 minutes the service was over, as simply as it began, and the Monks silently filed out.

At this time we were fortunate enough to meet and spend a few minutes with one of the Monks, Brother Paul Quenon, OCSO, who Adam had met while he was a student at Bellarmine University. Brother Paul is an established poet (excellent haiku) and a photographer. His easy smile and wise guidance touched us all. Our gifts of the books Billie Dyer, by William Maxwell, and Links, by Rev. Bruce Allison, and an excellent bottle of red wine were warmly received. As he turned Bruce’s book over and looked at his picture, he commented, “Ah, I like his face!” I imagine Bruce would have liked his too.

The rest of the day saw many of us attending five more prayer services, each one different, but their pattern soon became reassuringly familiar. We broke up in smaller groups and read or wrote or explored on our own. Later Adam led us on a pathway through the woods that passed several stunning sculptures, looking perfectly at home among the growth of the forest.

The more I observed and sensed, the clearer Merton’s attraction to this place became. The quiet, reverent, stillness became addictive as I considered all that I had heard and experienced. 

Compline was the final service of the evening, and it was quite special.  Conducted in complete darkness save for one candle, their prayers and hymns were especially comforting.  The power of the simple service was surprising and sustaining.

Before the ending of the day
creator of the world we pray
that with thy gracious favor thou
wouldst be our guard and keeper now

From fears and terrors of the night
defend us Lord by thy great might
and when we close our eyes in sleep
let hearts with Christ their vigil keep.

O Father, this we ask be done
through Jesus Christ thine only Son
who with the Paraclete and thee
now lives and reigns eternally.
Amen.

“Every day, seven times a day, day by day, week by week, year by year, beginning the day after they first arrived from France in 1848, and continuing until the end.  In a wild, sordid, noisy, violent world, we sing, we sing ancient songs, rich in history, graced by God, for our healing and the healing of the world.”

Night 2 –totally inadequate descriptions were added to the travel journal.

The next day, as we prepared to drive home, I laughed as I lifted my bulky teacher bag.  Two days before, I had smugly arrived certain that my bag held all that I would need, but in reality it held nothing I needed.  As I left, the bag was overflowing with lessons learned, practices begun, and a heartfelt appreciation for what is alive in the quiet of time.

The how and why I became involved in this journey had been made clear. “God is always there for us,” to quote a wise Monk. It is the intentional and unguarded listening that makes us aware and receptive. Thomas Merton described the Abbey as a place apart “to entertain silence in the heart and listen for the voice of God—to pray for your own discovery.” Thank you Gethsemani, you are a special place indeed!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Through Stained Glass: A [Guest] Mid-Week Reflection-Epiphany Moments

Midweek Reflection: Epiphany Moments
(This is the first of four reflections from a group of us, based on our recent visit to the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, Kentucky over the weekend. Over the course of the next few weeks, others will share their insights and revelations, poems and epiphanies emergent from this adventure.)

         
       Brian Davis is a writer of both stories and songs. 
He is a graduate of Eureka College 
and currently lives in Peoria, Illinois. 
Brian has known Adam for more than a decade; 
they met while working at the same bowling alley, 
and have remained friends since. They 
maintain a number of important shared interests, 
such as: faith, the Simpsons, classic and 
contemporary literary works, 
and the Chicago Cubs. You 
can learn more about the writing life of 
Brian Davis by visiting this link:  
http://brianjdavis87.wordpress.com/
     “Well, I should probably write something” was what I said to myself this past weekend as I sat in the library of the Abbey of Gethsemane, journal open in front of me. “And it should probably be meaningful, profound, or life-changing.” I was, after all, on retreat: On retreat with five other people in a monastic environment that championed silence, almost demanding contemplation and spiritual formation. If I couldn’t come up with something meaningful, profound, or life-changing here, I probably didn’t have much of a chance anywhere. I was waiting for a moment —the moment when my search would end, purpose became clear, and I “succeeded” at the exercise of “retreating.” Literary minds call this an “epiphany moment.” Come to think of it, spiritual minds do, too.

         
      Writers have to handle epiphany moments with the greatest care. Characters need to go through transformation, but that transformation has to be believable, needing to be embedded throughout the entire story. If a character hates his father for the first 180 pages of a book and suddenly decides he loves him on Page 181, not only is it not believable or sincere, we think the entire action specifically insincere.
         
      I like to believe God knows this, too. And when we suddenly have singular moments of extreme spiritual shifts and revelation (which we often look for on things like retreats), those moments beg the same questions of longevity, believability and insincerity that all of those Page 181 epiphany moments do: “Where did this come from?” “How am I supposed to believe that?”
         
      This principle illustrated why our epiphany moments, like those of our believable literary characters, are actually epiphany journeys. Waiting on that singular moment to define your experience will find you waiting forever, because it couldn’t possibly do it. You need to go 10 mph before you can go 20 mph, but neither is more important than the other; they’re just two different steps on the same path. Any commitment you make now has to be renewed constantly for it to endure. If that commitment only remains in the present moment alone, it’s worthless — at least as far as epiphanies go.
         
     With that in mind, I got down to “retreating,” with an increased interest in not waiting, or even searching, for that affirming moment when all of my doubts and questions were erased, or my “reason” for being on the retreat was revealed. Instead, my focus became to experience that part of my journey, and recognize that whatever I found there was just a paragraph of my lifelong story. Our God is an adept author, and knows what needs to be embedded along the way, so that when we get to Page 181, that epiphany moment is as natural as the person experiencing it. And it needs to be, because we don’t get a chance to rewrite the story if it’s not.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Through Stained Glass: A Mid-Week Reflection-Super

Super

Behind me, to the north, the bells chyme.

An indication that the sun has set.

The big hand and the little hand for a straight line, 6:00 PM.

There were tasks completed.

Some tasks were left undone.

...

And that is okay.

We can't get to everything.  No matter how hard we try.

Despite what you may think,

you aren't super-woman.

And you aren't super-man.

...

So breathe in the weekend.

A week complete, days off to enjoy.

Festivities with friends await.

Find that slower pace.  Walk with it with a sweet embrace.

You need it.  Welcome the rest.  Live into its invitation.

...

Watch a leaf fall.

Notice the season changing.

Feel the breeze become more crisp.

Hear autumn whisper her goodbye.

Drink hot cider by a fire.

...

Have fun with the chores you have in store.

Rake the leaves that will fall for the next week.

Then, jump in them.

Be a kid, the one who is inside you.

Lie on your back, see the white clouds the sky, so blue.

...

You are radiant, like the leaves.

You are strong, like the trees.

You are beautiful, like autumn.

You are loved, like words to a poem.

You are enough.

...

To the south migration happens.

Prepare your heart for its own patterns.

Sit with yourself a while.

Then, friend, smile.  In the end, all will be well.

You, tonight, now, are exactly, where you need to be.

...

The half hour bells chyme.

The day moves on.

The darkness casts its shadow wider.

The colors disappear into the night.

Wisdom knocks on your door.  She is rest.