My grandpa does this thing
when I visit with him that I never really noticed until recently.
When there is a pause in
conversation and I begin to glance around the room, when I look back at him, he
smiles.
While I look for the next
topic to discuss, he has not removed his eyes from me. His gaze warms my
heart…but also has me wondering, what in the world is he staring at me for?
Do I have something on my
face?
Is he wondering what he is
going to have for supper?
Or is he contemplating me
the way a grandfather does of a grandson, admiring who I am as a person because
of who he is as one?
Regardless the reason
behind it, it is a feeling I find comforting. His brief smile when our eyes
reconnect is a type of blessing for me. It is as if he is saying, “I’m proud of
you, grandson.”
He gets it. He understands
the importance of being present.
The same cannot be said
when I am with my friends.
Not because we don’t think the
world of each other, but because, we are less present with one another.
When I’m with my grandpa,
the only competition I have is age and the effect it has on ears that are 92
years old.
With my friends or other
members of my family we are very distracted. Most of us have our cell phones on
the table waiting for it to flash, ding, or buzz. And when it isn’t flashing,
dinging, or buzzing, we have a tendency to pick up our phones, gazing into the lights
the way my grandfather gazes at his grandsons, hoping to connect with someone something.
I wonder, how much do we
miss because of technology?
As I caught myself doing
this at lunch last week, I did a little research and Googled statistics about
phone use.
Here is a stat I found in a
Time Magazine article that overwhelms me but doesn’t surprise me: The average person looks at his or her phone
46 times every day.[1]
The article goes on to say, “Although 46 checks per day is the average, that
number varies depending on users’ age group. Those between the ages of 18 and
24 look at their phones most often, with an average of 74 checks per day.
Americans in the 25-34 age bracket look at their devices 50 times per day, and
those between 35 and 44 do so 35 times each day.
Yikes.
That is a lot of
unnecessary screen time.
Part of what makes Jesus so
compelling is his presence with people. Granted, Jesus didn’t live in an age
where he could ‘connect’ with people through a cell phone. He did, however,
travel around with twelve people who were pretty demanding of his time. Jesus
knew how to be with people, how to give them all of his attention, and in doing
so, validated their lives and their humanness. People in the Gospels felt loved
and knew they were loved by simply being
with Jesus.
Perhaps you don’t have a
cell phone and thus this post is irrelevant to you. Or maybe you do have a
phone and you have more self-control than the average American. For that I
applaud you.
For the rest of us, let’s
make a promise to pay attention more to those with whom we are dining. Turn off
the TV with the floating heads in the background, put aside the newspaper you always read during your meal with your
spouse, and leave the cell phone in the car the next time you go out with
people. Let’s promise that we will do our very best to be completely present to
those we share life with.
And when there is a pause
in conversation, don’t be so quick to look away or find something to say.
Instead, just be with each
other, gazing at each other in a way God gazes upon us in all our humanity.
The way my grandfather gazes
at me when we are together.
[1]
Lisa Eadicicoo. Time. “Americans Check Their Phones 8 Billion Times A Day.”
Accessed May 01, 2016.
